Why do we project ourselves onto others

Psychological projection - I blame you

Last update: 02 February, 2017

Psychological projection. This term was already developed in Freudian theory and describes a common practice that we are familiar with. This can also apply to ourselves. We may well have done this ourselves on one occasion without realizing it.

An example? Think about that time when you were deeply in love with someone. In some way, and almost unconsciously, you attributed certain traits and traits to a person that did not completely correspond to reality. You have surrounded her skill, kindness, and good qualities with a halo of perfection that you yourself projected onto her.

Love is sometimes a very favorable context in which psychological projection develops. The real, the really complex problem however, arises when one is unambiguously negative projection put into practice. Here the person performing one has clear emotional disturbances, and is attributing thoughts to the other full of anger and fear are.

Today we talk about feelings of guilt, and how we sometimes instead of accepting them and confronting them, outwardly, with the intention of hurting others. Those who are close to us, those whom we supposedly love most.

Projection: distortion of reality for your own benefit

Let's start with an example. Your partner is an insecure person who fears compromise. Far from accepting reality, she begins to blame you and convince you that you are not making it easy for him. That you keep giving him reason to distrust you and that you obviously have a clear desire to hurt him.

But the problem isn't yours, it's him. But since he doesn't want to face a problem with self-esteem or self-confidence, he blames you and justifies it with things that are not true. His anger hits you with sharp arrows and projects negative feelings onto you. Because this way he achieves the following:

The Ignore problem and push on the other.

Free yourself from this inner burden and leave them outside, with the people who are nearby.

By making the other feel guilty, you bring yourself into one clear position of power. “I don't have a problem, the others do. my environment has to change, not me. "

If you assess the situation in such a way that the others have the real problem, you might manage them Distorting reality so muchuntil they start to believe that. Most of all, you start to believe these fantasies yourself and ignore your mistakes and the real problems.

How can one break through psychological projections?

The subject of psychological projection is really very complex. And sadly to be found very often. Many people who are subjected to physical or psychological abuse continue to project a positive image onto their life partner. For what reason? In this way protect yourself from reality.

"If my partner is jealous, then it is for love.", "My partner loves me deeply, only sometimes he makes mistakes, but he is the person who worries about me the most." - By projecting these ideas, one falls into a distortion of reality, in which one belittles one's world. That is why one does not want to accept reality with all its brutality. But this is where every courageous person should react and start defending himself.

So how can one break through these projections?

We have to realize that what we project onto the others is actually a defense mechanism. A lifebuoy that we cling to so that we don't have to admit what it really is.

One has to understand that by projecting guilt and anger onto our surroundings, we can no longer achieve than creating even more negative feelings. We will fall into a vicious circle in which we perceive a false sense of power, but in the longer term it will only lead to a deep fall.

If you are the one suffering from someone else's projection, let them know how you feel about it. Make it clear that this behavior cannot go on for longer. That you feel bad, humiliated, and manipulated.

Also understand that the moment the person realizes that their psychological projection is in fact hiding a personal flaw, it becomes one felt loss of control leads. She is going to feel some kind of personal setback and she will help and support need to “rebuild” in order to be able to face the said problems, said weaknesses.

It is not at all easy to accept that at some point we are all projecting something. Sometimes we do this without even realizing it. We think that the defect is outside of us and not within ourselves. We think the person we love is a thoroughly perfect person ...

We all have defects, we all have weaknesses. The ideal would be to always act with kindness and objectivity. But in the end we are all beautiful, imperfect beings who try to survive in a world that is very complex in order to be happy in it.

Images courtesy of Nicoletta Ceccoli