All relationships are give and take

Give and take in relationships

On the other hand, it can happen that the giver finds that many of his actions are neither valued nor recognized. All that he has invested in time, affection, and energy he will never regain. He will then think that they made no sense, and his confidence will wane.

When you realize that you are limited to the role of giver in a relationship, you become aware of emotional suicide. You ended up maintaining an unequal and unhealthy relationship. After this realization there is no turning back. You have to make decisions, become a taker yourself and restore your lost dignity.

Giver and recipient: two constant figures in our relationships

Anna and Paul have been a couple for eight months. Anna is the giver and does everything for her boyfriend. She is very attentive and loves to see what he might need or what he might like. Paul, on the other hand, lets everything be done for himself. After seeing that this behavior makes his girlfriend happy, he becomes even more passive, maybe even dependent.

This is a small example of what happens so often in our relationships and how we gradually shape ourselves into givers and takers. Sometimes we ourselves encourage a series of behaviors that then turn out to be non-functional. So the point is not to look for someone to blame, but rather to understand some things:

  • We can allow either of the two to invest a little more in the relationship at some point. However, this cannot be the norm or the rule. In addition, the clear responsibility of both partners is to be equally involved in the relationship where the costs and benefits are similar for both sides.
  • We deserve to receive. Sometimes people have spent so much time being givers that they don't understand what it means to take from time to time. The same thing happens in reverse. Those who have only been considerate of themselves for half their lives can experience a pleasant feeling when they experience the importance of giving from the heart - but the step towards it costs overcoming.
  • We shouldn't go nuts and be obsessed with a classic fifty-fifty split, either. It is important to find a balance because People give in different ways and at different times.

The most important thing in the relationship is to know that reciprocity exists. That this person is there for us and that what we give from the heart is received with open arms and given back when we need it again ourselves.

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