How do I live life
I live MY life - in 10 simple steps to become an independent person
Is it a goal in life of yours to stand on your own two feet one day? Contrary to popular belief, absolute control over one's life can be gained almost effortlessly.
A really independent person “accepts himself completely as he is” and radiates this very clearly to others. How does it look for you? Wouldn't you like to show the real you and lead your life as you have always dreamed of? Or do you prefer to live your life the way your environment forces you to?
Here are ten steps you can take to begin taking power over your own life:
Start from where you are right now and take one step at a time
There is only one way to get started, and that is in the here and now. Wherever you are. Changes have to happen from the inside out, i.e. you have to start with yourself not with your environment. As M. Ferguson says so aptly: “Nobody can persuade another to change. Each of us is the guardian of a gate to change that can only be opened from within ”. Use your skills, perceptions, talents and strengths to move forward.
Always take one step at a time and concentrate on it properly. Taking several actions at the same time would be completely counterproductive at the beginning. In our present time of goals, big plans and visions, we focus far too often and far too much on the future, which can lead to the result that we pay far too little attention to our present and thus seriously endanger it. Never forget: only in the present can we make a difference.
Check the things that irritate, annoy and bother you
We often resist things that we need and should learn most. Most of the time, however, this only has something to do with prejudice, sympathy or envy, qualities that rarely advance us in life. The next time you find yourself in a situation in which you reject information or tips from someone else (which you may also find unsympathetic), rather ask yourself: What really bothers me about this information? Can I benefit from this tip? What would happen in my life if I did that?
Realize that "everything" that is happening in the moment is appropriate
I think we all know this rule of the universe: "Everything in life has its place". This "expediency" rule assumes that there is a "bigger" plan that we are all a part of (including you). Don't try to understand this plan, though, because it's just too big. Rather, start by accepting your here and now and acknowledge everything that happens to you in life as a growth in your personality.
Stop worrying about other people's problems
It is easy to deal with the situation of others and to philosophize about what this person is doing, not doing, should be doing better ... STOP! How does that help you in YOUR life? Not at all! This kind of "worrying" is useless and a waste of time. Better think about what you should and could do better. Work on your character and your competence and take responsibility for your own life.
It doesn't matter what happened in the past or who did it to you ...
... the only thing that matters is what you make of it. No one can change the past no matter what happened. What we can change is our attitude towards it. We can choose how we understand what has happened and what we make of it. No matter how bad the past was, you should only see it from an angle that will move you forward in the NOW.
Refrain from constantly judging and learning to accept
How often do you catch yourself mentally correcting, criticizing, or reformulating in conversations? If you do this, you will not be able to follow the conversation with full attention and thus miss the message that may be between the lines. Instead of saying to yourself, "That's not true," "I see it differently," or "How can you think that way?", Try to accept the statement and just see it as a representation of how that person thinks, feels, or intends to mediate. This simple technique can open up a sea of hidden messages for you, and it allows you to respond in a more objective and factual manner. Without the influence of your own emotions.
See every possibility as an opportunity
Work on yourself so that you are open to any possibility of any idea or suggestion. There is never just one solution. There is always more than one way to solve a problem. You stagnate when you narrow your options through limits, expectations, prejudices and conditions.
Take care of all of your open affairs
Interpersonal, most of us have so-called “open issues” (I'm deliberately not talking about “open bills” here) - an open promise, an offending relationship, or an outstanding apology. Doing this often requires greatness and you may even have to surpass yourself. But failing to complete these things can be extremely damaging to your psyche. Peace of mind is important in order to move forward with a clear head. There is a 3 step process that can often work wonders:
1. Admit the mistake and take the first step (if there is an interpersonal problem, it ALWAYS takes two. Be the one who shows greatness)
2. Admit to the other person that you were wrong, apologize and ask this simple question: "Is there anything else I can do for you?" (Usually there is nothing, but the question alone is balm for your own soul)
3. Think ahead. You admitted the mistake, did everything you could on your part to correct it, and the matter is officially closed. Get it out of your head for good and think ahead. This third step takes some discipline, but it works and is incredibly important.
When faced with a seemingly hopeless situation, take action
There is a teaching called the “standstill theory” and this can best be explained using wood. When large amounts of wood drift in a river, large accumulations often occur. If you move a piece of wood now, it will trigger a reaction and move everyone else too. Moving just one piece of wood creates space, which in turn creates space for the other pieces of wood to move.
Always remember that the goal is not to find a definitive solution with just one action. It's just about taking the first step, “getting things moving”. Then take one step at a time, as already explained at the beginning of this article.
It doesn't matter what others think of you
Get to know yourself very well. Your nature, your deepest inside, your values and your unique ability to contribute. When you implement your values, your sense of identity, integrity and control in your life, you will be filled with joy and inner peace. You will define yourself from within, not from the opinions of others. Strangely, you'll find that when you don't care what others think of you, suddenly it becomes more important to you what you think of yourself and your world. As a result, you will no longer build your life on the weaknesses of others but on your strengths. In addition, you will find it easier and more desirable to change yourself, because there is something that will always be essentially the same - your inner core - the real you.
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