Luck is a lie
Does lying make you happy?
Yesterday I was allowed to visit the fascinating exhibition “Fake. Visit the whole truth ”in the Stapferhaus Lenzburg.
To make it short: I can only recommend a visit!
It is a playful, entertaining, intelligent and interactive examination of an important topic that concerns us all: our dealings with the truth or our “play with lies” in everyday life.
It was funny to classify news items as “fake” or “true” as a group competing against each other. Not that easy at all ... Is Facebook really listening to us now via mobile phone microphone? Is it all just cheese or is the headline “cheese disaster” really true?
I found the “Central Lies Contact Point” really exciting. The visitors are told "true stories of lies", that is, stories in which people were faced with the challenge: Do I lie or do I stick to the truth?
After that, it was up to everyone to personally assess the lie: “was necessary” to “doesn't work at all” or even “fatal”.
Our moderator skillfully brought us as a group into conversation about our personal assessment of the individual lies. Is it legitimate to promise a dying person something that will never be kept? If you tell lies about yourself at the exit - is it playful imagination or just bold? How should a Sanspapier behave if it is checked during illegal work?
Some of the stories that were told to us were amusing, others told of personal hardship. How does a person with bipolar disorder behave in the application process? Is the psychological suffering kept secret because otherwise the chance of a job drops to zero?
I loved this discussion as a group. Everyone tries in their own way to find answers to these not easy questions and the different justifications reveal something of our influences and our attitude. Very enriching.
When is lying allowed?
In principle, my attitude towards lies is clear: Lying is not an option. When I realize that someone is lying to me, it can be the biggest breach of trust. This is how I grew up myself, this is how my children experience me: If I am lied to, the fun stops.
But it's not that simple after all: What about half-truths? White lies? "Correctness lies" in order not to expose the other?
I tend to say that a lie is a lie.
The FAKE exhibition is set up in such a way that, equipped with a visitor pass, you can see the “Office for the Whole Truth”. And this is exactly the point that challenges me the most when it comes to this topic: Is it also a lie if I don't tell everything - not the whole truth? I'm telling the truth, but not all of it.
Specific situation: I have to say no to a friend or colleague. Do I have to reveal all my motives to him, even if this will probably hurt him very much and has the potential to destroy our relationship?
Does transparency have its limit where we suspect that our counterpart cannot handle this information? Or is it not exactly there that patronizing our counterpart begins?
From my previous experiences and considerations, these are complex questions that we cannot answer that easily.
It seems important to me that we do not avoid these questions and, above all, the difficult conversations that go with them.
Have lies made me happy in my life? Where do I always fall victim to self-lies that I believe?
Lying may be a more convenient route in the short term. But what is the reward for lying - for example if I pretend something in the job interview?
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